


i've been thinking of you

by fannyann



Series: 30 Day Challenge [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 22:25:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fannyann/pseuds/fannyann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam can read people's minds. Harry can, too. As such, falling in love is interesting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i've been thinking of you

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [Diana](http://archiveofourown.org/users/andwhatyousaid) for being an absolute peach and reading over this for me.

Liam’s known he can read people’s minds for a while now. At age four his mum liked to hide his favorite film from him — said he watched it too much. When he would ask to watch it, her face would school in concentration as she said with her most honest expression: “I donno, sweetie. I think your sister lent it to a friend.” 

And though Liam would cry, he could always hear from a little far off: “Upstairs. Under the bed.” 

When he’s seven he gets sent home with a note pinned to his coat reading: _Karen. Liam caused a wholly uncharacteristic scene today by pretending he could read everyone’s minds while they were supposed to be working on their spelling course work. Please talk to him and make sure this doesn’t happen again._

Liam had expected to get a scolding, but his mum had just looked at him with these sad, sympathetic eyes and said, “Sweetie, when you’re older I’ll tell you all about this. But for now, just know you’re not the only one in the family that’s a little special. And please, you can’t tell anyone about the voices.” 

At fourteen it starts happening more frequently. He auditions for _The X Factor_ and his nerves are so high-strung that he thinks they might just be getting to him. He doesn’t think the words spinning around his head — the litany of _please let me get through_ and _don’t let me fuck it all up_ — are actual things being felt by people other than him. He just thinks his nerves have amplified his feelings — makes his brain feel like it’s swimming. 

But when Simon calls him back in to tell him whether he’s through to the live shows or not, he can hear a soft _hope he’s not a cryer_ without Simon’s mouth moving at all. He knows then it’s not going to be good news. He also knows that his mother hadn’t been lying when she had said he was a little bit special.

*

At sixteen Liam comes into his gift entirely — he can now hear people’s thoughts constantly. When he decides to try out for _The X Factor_ a second time, his mum sits him down before the first audition and tells him that the things he has been experiencing over the years — the voices he’s been hearing with increasing frequency — are not something new to the Payne family. She tells him that his grandfather’s able to hear people’s thoughts, too. She says it should get easier to control soon enough and that if he’s lucky, it’ll just fade out. 

As it turns out he has no such luck. This audition’s even worse than the one he had at fourteen — the voices are ten times worse and he can’t shut them off at all. 

At bootcamp he gets to know, in intimate detail, every fantasy his roommate, Niall, has of being famous without him even saying a word. Every night before bed Niall spins tales of playing arenas and stadiums and working with the biggest names in the industry; sometimes he voices them aloud, says things like, “I want to be like Bieber, y’know?” and leaves Liam stuck for words — never knowing what to say — but most times Liam just falls asleep to the vivid pictures of Niall’s imagination. It’s comforting, almost. 

And for the most part, hearing people’s thoughts is just an annoyance — something that gives Liam headaches and makes him want to crawl out of his skin in frustration when everyone just won’t _shut up._ Just a thing that makes him feel guilty when he accidentally finishes Niall’s sentence in excitement as they get through the first round of bootcamp. 

But on the last day of bootcamp, when the judges line them all up in a group to tell them who’s made it on to the Judge’s Houses, he knows this thing — this ability to hear people’s thoughts — is the most crushing thing to ever happen to him. 

As he stands in line waiting for the verdict he knows before they even start speaking, he can see Nicole and Louis and Simon looking at their clipboards — can hear the names flying around, and knows he’s not one of them. But he still has to stand there and pretend he doesn’t know — there is a camera after all. It feels like ages — feels like Liam stands on that stage looking at the hopeful faces of the boys around him for an eternity knowing that he’s not one of that's getting through. It gets down to the last name and Simon says, “The final contestant who’s made it through is…” and Liam closes his eyes, shuts it all out and hopes against hope that he heard them wrong — that his name will be called. 

But then Simon’s saying _Tom Richards_ , and everything comes flooding back in. He can’t even hear himself over every boy in the room’s dreams being crushed. He faintly makes out Simon saying, “That’s it guys. I’m really, really sorry,” and tries to pinpoint Niall’s voice in the crowd — just to make sure he’s okay. But the voices are roaring in his head and he can’t make him out at all. He’s so overwhelmed that he cries. He walks off the stage and into Dermot’s arms — finds some sort of comfort in his "sorry, mate" and his warm embrace. 

Nothing’s as comforting, though, as when he sees a man with a headset looking at a list of names and he can hear his being read. He looks up as the man calls out for the remaining boys to huddle together in a group and Liam starts to buzz with excitement. 

The man in the headset tells them that the judges want a few of them back on stage for something and he calls their names out one by one. Liam can see Niall biting his nails and he tries not to get his hopes up, knows this could be for anything, there’s no guarantee this will be good news, but he can hear Niall’s excitement, too, and he knows then it’s alright to hope. The man tells them to follow him and they’re ushered back onto the stage, joined by four other girls, and then Nicole’s speaking. 

She’s saying something about how they’ve thought long and hard about this, about them as individuals and how they’re too good to let go, but Liam can’t really make it out — all he can hear is Simon thinking: _Group - we’re putting you into two groups._

Then Nicole finally says aloud, “We’ve decided to have two separate groups.”

Liam’s heart flutters in his chest and he feels the room ripple in confusion. Simon’s saying, “We’ve decided to put you both through to Judges Houses.” 

Everything erupts in excitement and Liam feels like he could float away on the joy of those around him. It quiets down enough for Simon to ask, “Would you like to take a minute to think about it?” 

He can hear Zayn think _yeah, just a moment_ , and he can see Harry raise an eyebrow at Louis. Liam looks over at Niall and sees his face clouded over with utter excitement, and Liam knows that even if this could potentially ruin everyone’s careers if it doesn’t work out — that this is what they’re all deciding on. 

They turn into each other in a little huddle, and they look round, and Louis asks, “Do you think you wanna do this?” 

He hears Harry think _yeah_ before he says it, then Zayn and Niall follow and they turn to look at Liam with these expectant eyes, and any concern Liam had crumbles. He says, “Yeah, I’m in if you boys are.” 

They turn back to Simon. Harry gestures down the line and says, “We’d like to take this opportunity,” and suddenly, Liam’s in a boy band. 

*

At seventeen everything changes. He’s on _The X Factor_ , in a house full of contestants, and their emotions are running so wild that the only thing keeping Liam from crawling out of his skin is the constant attention to the competition. He knows he’s taking it a bit too seriously, can hear Louis think _why won’t you lighten up? why won’t you just have fun with me?_ every time Liam tells him to focus, but he just can’t stop thinking about the competition; if he does everyone’s thoughts just get too overwhelming.

Sometimes, they’ll be in the middle of practicing and he’ll find himself thinking that things are getting too loud — that he can’t concentrate on what he’s supposed to be singing when everyone around him is thinking so loudly — and Harry will look at him, raise his eyebrow and think _are you alright?_ and Liam will think for a moment that Harry can hear his thoughts, too. 

It’s a quick, fleeting moment of relief — one that has Liam’s head spinning with the idea that he’s not the only one like this — and then Liam shakes his head and Harry’s not looking at him anymore. He’s off whispering with Louis and Liam thinks instead that the stress of the competition and the ability to hear people’s thoughts is just getting to him. He convinces himself that the looks Harry gives him when Liam’s thoughts get too emotional or stressed and the concerned questions he hears Harry ask are all only coincidental - there’s no way Harry can read minds, too. 

But then they go to a Tinie Tempah concert with Cher and Mary, and Liam hurts his ankle and he realizes that no, it’s not just coincidental — Harry can, in fact, hear Liam’s thoughts as well. 

They’re behind Mary and Cher, making their way off the stage after Tinie Tempah’s brought them all on for a song, when Liam gets caught around an amp and falls, twisting his ankle. Harry and Louis continue off the stage with Mary and Cher, but Niall’s at his side within a second to help him up. They hobble off the stage and Liam catches Harry eying his ankle from where he’s huddled together with the rest of the group and he hears Harry think: _Are you okay?_

Liam’s mind is racing so much over falling in front of all these people that he answers without question, thinks, _Yeah, I’m fine. Just twisted it a bit._

Harry smiles, nods his head and says, “Good.” Louis and Niall look at him in confusion. 

Mary asks, “What’s good, doll?” and Liam knows then — Liam knows that Harry can read his mind, too. 

 

It turns out Harry is a lot better at being able to read people’s minds. One night they sneak out of the bedroom while the rest of the boys are sleeping and Harry teaches Liam this weird breathing exercise that he does when the thoughts are too overwhelming. 

They sit at the kitchen table and Harry says, “Okay. When all the thoughts get too much, I just breathe in really deep and cluck my tongue against the roof of my mouth three times before breathing out.” 

Liam looks at him skeptically and thinks: _That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard._

Harry’s eyes widen in shock. He says, “Heeyyyyyy. I can _hear_ _you.”_

Liam’s smile comes easy. “Fine, fine,” he says. “I’ll try it. But I still think it’s a bit mad.” 

Harry looks at him expectantly as he waits for Liam to breathe in once. When Liam goes to cluck his tongue against the roof of his mouth the brush of his tongue tickles and he starts laughing. Harry rolls his eyes and thinks _You’re not even taking this seriously are you, Liam?_

Liam’s already thinking of how to apologize when his looks up and sees Harry’s eyes sparkling in amusement. Harry says, “You’re cute when you’re flustered, Liam.” 

Knowing that Harry can read minds as well makes things easier for Liam. Time passes on _The X Factor_ a lot more quickly and with a lot less guilt over being able to hear other people’s thoughts when Harry spends so much of his time distracting Liam by telling him these ridiculous jokes just to make Liam laugh at what seems like nothing. Having Harry to share this with actually makes Liam breathe a little easier — lets him take the competition a bit less seriously, allows him to laugh at Louis’ mischief a little easier, makes keeping the secret that much more bearable.

They both agree to tell the boys, eventually — think it’s best to get through the live shows and then see where it goes from there. 

When they get third, it seems like the whole world has been yanked out from under Liam’s feet. But Liam doesn’t cry, not this time. He’s got a feeling things will be alright. Harry cries but Louis’ mind is flooded with _I’m not calling it quits - not when we just started_ and Niall thinks _we’ll make it somehow_ and Liam knows Zayn was right - this isn’t the end of One Direction. 

That night when Simon calls them all up to his office, Harry and Liam share a silent moment of understanding before Simon tells them that they have a record deal. Harry still cries, though. Liam hears him think _Get it together Styles! This is no time to cry — this could change your life!_

Liam tries not to smile, just thinks _It’s alright, Harry._

Harry wipes at his eyes and tucks into Louis’ shoulder and smiles back at Liam, thinking _Liam, this is going to change our lives._

Liam smiles at Harry, sees and hears the excitement in the boys and thinks _We’ll have to tell the boys, now, Harry._

The next morning they move out of _The X Factor_ house and into a hotel in West London. They all pile into Harry and Louis’s shared room and Harry says without preamble, “So, you’re not going to believe this, but Liam and I can kinda read minds.” 

Niall’s the first one to laugh and the last one to stop. He laughs so hard he nearly cries and Zayn has to pat him on the back to make sure he’s alright. He looks up at Harry through watery eyes and says around a laugh, “Stop fucking with us, Harry. There’s no way I’m going to believe you two can read minds.” 

Liam says, “He’s not lying.” 

Niall swallows loudly at that and Zayn pinches the bridge of his nose. Louis gives them both a sharp look. He says, “Come off it, boys. There’s no way.” 

Harry points at Zayn and says, “You just thought ‘we’re not even famous yet and it’s already gone to their heads.’” 

Zayn splutters a bit, putting his head between his hands, and mutters, “This can’t be possible. I cannot possibly be in a band with _two_ people who have superpowers.” 

Liam’s taken aback by that and turns to Harry with a raised eyebrow, thinks _Superpower? Would you call it that?_

Harry smiles back at him and thinks _Sounds better than when my mum calls it a ‘gift.’_

Then Niall points between the two of them frantically and says, “No! Are you two seriously communicating with each other without us knowing? That’s not fair!” He’s laughing and rolling his eyes, it looks like he thinks this is the best day of his life. 

Zayn still looks a bit skeptical, and then Louis blinks a few times and says, “Band rule: The two of you can’t use your little powers to talk about us while we’re still in the room. That’s foul play.” 

Harry and Liam look at each other and both think _fair enough_

Zayn says, “And try to keep the silent communicating thing to a minimum. It might be weird to people watching us to see you two making eyes at each other all the time and not talking.” 

*

At eighteen Liam settles into it — learns to shut it out. He realizes that as his emotions increase, his ability to shut it out decreases. 

When they’re sitting in the studio with Reggie Yates waiting to hear if “What Makes You Beautiful” got number one, Liam knows before anyone even says it. He tries to shut it out, tries to block out Reggie’s thoughts so he can be surprised like the rest of the boys, but he just can’t do it — he’s too nervous and the walls that he’s been able to build up just slip away. 

He looks over at Harry and Harry’s beaming at him, thinking _We did it, Liam!_ and Liam knows he’s not the only one who slips up when he’s nervous. After the show, after the excitement dies down a little, Louis takes them both aside and says, “I don’t know if you realize — but you’re both super obvious when you’ve heard good news.” 

He’s looking at them like a mother looks at two misbehaved children, but his thoughts are so overwhelmingly fond that Harry and Liam only coo at him, and Louis just hits them both on the arm, saying, “Isn’t there a band rule about you two _not_ using your powers on us? Because if there’s not there should be!” 

Liam does, for the most part, learn to block out the thoughts of those closest to him. He learns that it’s a lot like the telly constantly being on but not registering what’s going on in the programme. He can constantly _hear_ the thoughts of the people around him, but he no longer feels the need to try to decipher them; he just lets them buzz around like white noise in his head. 

Other times, when someone’s emotions are heightened, it’s like listening to a song and only picking up the opening line to the chorus — he’ll hear snippets of raw emotion, but he won’t pry any further, just pulls out Harry’s breathing trick and concentrates on not hearing what’s being thought around him. 

Sometimes, too, Harry and Liam will have these silent conversations while everything else is abuzz around them. 

Niall always picks up on it quickest when they’re all together. They’re sitting backstage waiting for show time when Niall rolls his eyes at the way Liam and Harry are looking at each other from across the room without saying anything. Niall says, “You two have gotten a lot better at keeping straight faces when you do your—” he waves his hands between the two of them outlandishly, “— your thing!” 

Zayn looks up from where he’s reading a comic. “Yeah, it’s not nearly as obvious as when you first told us. But you have your tells.” 

Harry turns in his chair to face Zayn. “Oh, really?” 

Louis opens his eyes from where he’s resting his head on Harry’s lap and says, “Yeah, Harry, your lip turns up really smugly when you’re chatting with Liam. Always looks like you’re telling a secret. Which I guess, you kind of are. I don’t know why you two can’t just _talk_ normally like the rest of us.” 

Liam says, “Not as fun, Louis.” 

Harry hums his agreement and Louis just rolls his eyes, goes back to resting his eyes, says, “Liam, you’re not much better. Your tell’s probably worse than Harry’s.” 

Niall laughs, “No it’s not!” 

Zayn smiles over his comic and says, “Louis, you’re biased. Liam’s is definitely not as obvious as Harry’s.” 

Louis waves his hand dismissively and Harry asks, “Is it the way Liam’s eyebrow twitches sometimes?” 

The other three boys all say _yes_ at the same time and Liam laughs, thinks _it_ would _be my eyebrows that give me away._

When they open up for _Big Time Rush_ Liam breaks the rules just for a moment — just to hear what the boys are thinking as the crowd sings the words back to them even though their album hasn’t dropped in America yet. Liam can see it in their faces and hear it in their thoughts that they’re just as overcome by this as he is. Then their album goes to number one in America and Harry kisses them all in celebration; it’s only a quick little press of the lips and they’re all giggling, but Liam still feels warm down to his toes. 

In May, they go to Sweden to record for the new album and there’s this moment with Harry — after a game of Fifa with Rami and Carl — that they’re alone together and Liam just feels so comfortable and at ease. He thinks _It’s really nice to be able to share this with Harry._

Harry turns to Liam, gently pokes his cheek and says, “Hey, it’s nice to share this with you, too.” 

Liam’s eyes widen, his cheeks tint and he says, “Heyyyyy. You’re not supposed to listen when I’m not talking _to_ you. Do the rules mean nothing to you?” 

Liam’s smiling when he says it, so Harry just laughs, shrugs his shoulders and says, “Hmm, they do. But you said my name.” 

Liam laughs, ruffles Harry’s hair. “Yeah,” he agrees, “ that’s always my downfall, too.” 

On tour, it becomes Harry and Liam’s _thing_ to end “I Wish” with Harry placing his hand over Liam’s crotch. One night in Toronto, Liam ruffles Harry’s hair and places his arm around Harry’s shoulder and waits for it. It doesn’t come, he shakes Harry’s shoulder and thinks _What, you’re not feeling the dick grab tonight, Styles?_

Then he hears Harry think: _Not as such, Payne,_ and then feels Harry’s hand close around his dick, and Liam thinks _Oh._

His mind goes through everything from amusement to arousal and he hopes Harry’s checked out, wasn’t listening, but then Harry turns to Liam, smirking, and says, “Sorry.” 

Harry turns away toward Louis, so Liam plays it up for the audience — pats at his chest, huffs out an exaggerated sigh and thinks _This is just what I need. Complicated sexual feelings about a boy who can read my mind._

*

At nineteen Liam falls in love. He pushes it out of his mind and doesn’t think about it — can’t, really, not when all the muddled feelings he’s got are for someone who is privy to his inner thoughts. 

Sometimes there’s moments when Harry will look at Liam and Liam’s heart will stutter and his breath with hitch and his walls will come down. He’ll even hear something like _Liam looks really nice today_ or _Has his bottom lip always been like that?_

And Liam will think: _Maybe, I’m not the only one._

In May, Harry and Liam go to this little house in the middle of the sea to film a scene for their film. Harry lies about while Liam fishes and Liam’s overcome by how beautiful Harry is. They spend the day goofing off and rehashing moments from over the past three years. As the day winds down, Harry dares Liam to walk out on the pole hanging out over the water. 

Liam thinks it’s a horrible idea but Harry says, “Liam, it’ll be fun for the film.” 

Liam sighs, resigned. Harry waggles his eyebrows at Liam and thinks: _You should take your shirt off, too. Give ‘em a little show at least._

Liam rolls his eyes, but takes his shirt off anyway, throws it at Harry’s face, thinking _More like give_ you _a show, innit._

Harry cheers Liam on from the side, claps while he says, “Come on, Liam. You got it.” 

Liam gets halfway out and hears Harry say, “It’s all you. Now try and get to the end.” And then Harry thinks: _If you do I’ll suck you off._

Liam loses his balance at that and falls right into the water. He swims back to where there’s a ladder at the edge, his mind buzzing with that revelation. Preston lowers his hand to help Liam up, but the ladder he’s on falls back and he plunges back into the water. He comes up and Harry’s laughing, but Harry throws a towel down to him and Liam thinks: _Was that good enough of a show for you, Harry?_

Harry smiles, shrugs his head to the side and thinks: _Yeah, you look pretty nice sopping wet._

They take the boat back inland. Harry wraps Liam up in the backseat of the car, and Liam snuggles up next to Harry for warmth. “Sorry, it was so cold, Liam,” Harry says, rubbing Liam’s arms briskly to warm him. 

Liam thinks — before he can stop himself — _Maybe you should make it up to me when we get back to the hotel._

Harry leans forward and says against the shell of Liam’s ear, “Plan to me, babe.” 

They hook up that night and every night on tour after. They don’t really talk about it. Don’t really need to when Liam hears Harry think how this is just a bit of fun — just something nice to share between two friends — and he’s sure Harry’s overheard him thinking the same about not wanting to make this weird on their friendship. 

When Liam gets a moment away from Harry — a moment alone with his thoughts — he thinks, if he’s honest with himself, that this is probably more than just a little fun. But he shuts that away and swallows it down. 

One night in June, Liam’s buzzing under his skin on stage, and he lets himself think about it. They’re in the middle of “I Would” and Liam’s dancing around when he looks over at Harry and the stage lights catch him just right and he looks so _beautiful_ that Liam’s caught off guard by it. 

He hops up on the platform where Harry’s standing, puts his arm around his shoulder, and goes to boop Harry’s nose, thinking _I love you, Harry._

Harry’s eyes go a little wide and he doesn’t say anything. Liam doesn’t want to hear what he’s thinking; he just laughs nervously and hops off the platform — walking away. 

A moment later, Liam hears Harry thinking his name, so he turns around and walks back toward Harry. Right as Liam sings _I would_ into the mic he hears Harry think: _Love you, too, Liam._

Then Harry raises his leg and Liam mimics his movements, dances backwards and laughs at the absurdity of professing his love — and having it returned — in the middle of a sold out concert. Maybe they’ll talk about it more after, discuss where it leaves them, but for now he’s happy to dance around stage with the knowledge that Harry loves him, too. 


End file.
